It is funny the things we rely upon for our sights to be set. Is there something that tells us it's right? Some earth shattering, scientific or mathematical theory we could wrap our heads around to proove that our gut was right? Is it something that moves within our hearts and minds to indicate the conviction of whatever it is we're deciding on? What brings you clarity? What sets each step in front of the other?
For me, it is the combination of time and fate and faith and hope all wrapped up into one giant hodge podge of oatmeal that warms up your insides and puts every worry in the back of your mind to rest. Now, I use the oatmeal analogy specifically because it used to make me gag. Hard core. I would smell it and be done. Gross. It was something that took some warming up to. So too, I relate it to seeing clearly - Oatmeal is good for you. When you see clearly, it may be a realization that you have some work to do, or that you have some growing to do, or big life altering risks to take - but because it's right (nutritious and delicious) it won't lead you astray. Ok, enough with the oatmeal
Imogen Heap has this lyric in one of her songs which pretty much piggie-backs on my search for clarity, "All I want, only one, street level miracle." Except I don't want just 1 - I want my whole life to be swimming in these little moments and miracles - the unexpected and unplanned gifts that can sock you in the stomach or awaken a part of you that has been dormant for who knows how long. When a part of you is sleeping it is almost as though you were waiting for something to come along and inspire it within you. I say it this way, because I don't always want what God has planned for me - I can't see what God wants - only what I want - right then and there. I get tired and impatient and worried and stressed. But I know what God has planned is better than anything that I could imagine wanting. This is why I expect the miracle. Whatever it is, large or small - the right thing for me will oatmeal my insides. uuh, yes, a little shaky, a little scary, but when it's there, you know because it is completely clear.
See above for example 1A - When I head off to MN to visit my brother-in-law and sister, they have this great trail about 2 blocks from their house that winds around a lake. I have walked and run around that lake a hundred times since they've moved there. One day, last May, I was running - heads down, head phones on. On my mind was a laundry list of things to do, worries, life hiccups, have nots and what ifs. More than anything there are days I wish I could turn off this mind that works overtime. And then there was a moment I looked up - all these beautiful green plants were positioned in a perfect array. Their leaves were all perched in the same upright position to catch the rain and funnel the water down to the newly settled growth. On some of the leaves had settled little tiny dewdrops which pooled together to create what looked like a solo big mama diamond in the center of the leaves that held them up so carefully. As the breeze would blow, the light would catch the dew and give the plants a little shimmer.
And that, was my moment of clarity. If God has planned out the architecture of this plant so thoroughly and made sure they would be so perfectly designed, I know all these thoughts bouncing around my head - all these worries - all these what ifs - will be okay...
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? - Matthew 6:26
It will be okay. Eat your oatmeal ; )