Love, among other things...

The things we don't talk about... I almost never mention the "L" word and whether or not I am in or out of it.  It is a taboo topic in some respects, I would say most specifically within the realms of social media.   It's like PDA if you see too much of it on the book of faces... for some, it's like heavens, hold back the up-chuck reflex. God bless the lovey-dovey; they are the others who love to see it in action.  (Yes, I would say I too, am hopelessly sentimental and air on the -dovey side)  I love seeing love in action - wedding photos, engagement photos, happiness oozing out of the the crevices...

We tread lightly on the topic of love before "it's ripe" as it is something each of us feels individually and as much as two people can "be in love," it is two separate states of being that overlap and give and take and push and pull and encourage and grow and reflect and change.. it is a gift.

 “All the knowledge I possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is exclusively my own.” - Goethe

It is true that love for each of us can be like a horse of a different color; it is always moving and changing and developing with new shapes and sizes, but it is always present, always there.  I love my family, I love my yorkie, I love my friends, I love... I love.  You too can fill in your blank.  But to fill it in, it can't be a kinda sorta thing - it must be an "all the way."

So why go and talk about it now?  God, give me the truth and be big about it.  Because I need to be reminded of the who, what, when, where, why and how. 

Who - me, you, freaking crazy Al down the street are all loved. It might be by your Mom, or your sister, or your kid, or that dead sexy significant other of yours, but don't hold it hostage.  Let it go. Give it away.  Fall into it and by all means, let it breathe.  Be true about it - centered, complete, perfect, pure.  It is something you not only completely deserve, but if you give it away like just like that, don't you think a gaggle of folks will radiate to your warmth?

What - My brother-in-law says "Love is teasing."  While I'm not quite sure that is the aspect of love i'm working on here - he has a point.  He knows me well enough to know where I'm touchy, where I get mad, when I am annoyed... And don't you think he perfectly pushes my buttons when he wants to?  Love knows the real stuff and the pain points and the pressure points and keeps on going anyway... It endures, even for my teasing brother-in-law. ;) love ya P!

All kidding and teasing aside, I would say my life quest, my life adventure- has always put me in search of that which is true. Truth. Real. Unabashed. Unbridled. Brave... love.  It does not shrink - it triumphs, no matter what hurdles lie in its way, because that is the nature of love - it bears all things.  It is the biggest, greatest most vital gift we as humans can give and take from each other.  But it can't have hinges, or conditions it just is because it can bear it.

When - It is funny the things that fall into place when you take this one collosal step - in my experience, I have felt like everything I was intended to be fell into place at exactly the right time.  I am stronger, more capable and alive - "There is no fear in love - for perfect love casts out fear."  When you know it's worth the risk.  When you know the other half of your scenario wants everything you entail - whether it be a new flame, family, friend and sometimes even foe - the good, the bad, the ugly, the broken.

Oh, but hells bells it is scary.  There is an incredible level of vulnerability that takes place when you give love away and allow it to come in - I think that is what gives you strength in the end.  You are strengthened by the love of the other because you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable enough to know the truth and there is something so incredibly incandescent about the truth.  And regardless of the outcome, isn't it better to say - man, I gave everything I had from the depths of my heart and loved all the way.  I would much rather do it that way then look back on my life and go - damn, I missed it.  I will always do that every time, because that is my gift.

Where - "Where there is not love, put love and there you will find love." St. John of the Cross

That was the quote I chose for the yearbook my Senior year of high school, by default.  One of my friends called dibs on the one I was going to go with... aaaand I would say this little ditty by St. John of the Cross, has weaseled its way all over my life, ever since... completely unintentionally.  In my most challenging moments, this is what helps me center myself.  What do I choose?  Love.  It will happen in the most unexpected and unlikely places, and I can say with complete honesty I've always been surprised, humbled and even on occasion, honored by what God puts into being.  Perfectly planned before I even had an inkling to expect it.

Why - It is an ever fixed mark. No, really it is - think about this in application to your own life and existence.  Your constants - do they really change much?  Why is that?  Are they people in your life, places, why them?  I suspect you will find love somewhere at the core.

But first, in this story as it unfolds, I've had to find it within myself. My unique love. Not just once, but over and over again - it's not a one trick pony, it's a constant moving, spinning, growing, changing of the within. In my spiritual realm of understanding, love for me, is the channel between you and God which enables you, the giver, to do exactly that.  The real thing is not easy nor is it cheap. It is balance and care and protection it "bears it out... even to the edge of doom."- or so says Shakespeare and I tend to take his word for it since he has an expert-ish status on the topic.  Now I think doom is a pretty extreme place, but it means what it says - It heals and binds up and grows and covers.

Of all my faith, my strength lies in love - and my heart is completely my own, a heart that has never been before.  I am an only. The same is true for you - You are an only with a spectacular array of "own-ness" with gifts and talents that go unmatched. And that in itself shows the creativity of the creator, to throw the stars in the sky in perfect harmonious alignment and to knit each of us together with perfect uniqueness.  So remember your Big Love - you've got it.

So amongst my ramblings... Here is a bit of the newest musical experiment - the assembly of the Infinite playlist, still in progress.  It's mostly some of the favs I've been listening to recently.  Enjoy!